Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Inventing the future.

A couple of critical inventions which will greatly improve the quality of life:

The Blackspot

This personal device creates a Wifi & Mobile phone blackspot for a radius of up to 100 metres from the wearer. The power output can be varied by the user to increase or reduce the diameter of this blackspot. In trials it has been effective up to 1,000 metres, but the microwave radiation at that range is sufficient to sterilise the user. Consequently, a maximum range of 100 metres will probably be deemed mandatory.

With the rapid spread of Wifi and mobile phone coverage now extending to aircraft, this device will become essential for anyone seeking a little peace. Indeed, you should not be surprised if, at some point in the near future, hotels and resorts start to promote themselves as “blackspots”, where the harried masses can come for some uninterrupted rest & recuperation.

The Pixeliminator

This clever device will shield the wearer from the unwanted intrusion of digital photography – whether by still or video camera or mobile photo.
The device works on the principle of monochromatism – it emits a low frequency radio wave which renders all the pixels of the wearer, as the intended subject of a photograph or video image, as a homogenous blob of one single colour and shade – with no discernible features. It doesn’t render the subject invisible to the camera, it merely records their presence as a blob.

This clever device will restore some semblance of privacy to the citizen and is destined to enliven the conversation over wedding photos & videos in years to come. “And who’s the blob dancing with Auntie Pam?”

Funding these projects:
To provide the necessary capital to finance development of the above devices, which will undoubtedly be highly profitable in due course (think Dyson), we’re about to launch the ultimate “cash cow”: Wii Adult!
No details, just use your imagination.

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