God is a woman - it's official!

The following letter was published in yesterday's Irish Times.

Madam,
The recent Vatican statement on homosexuality has caused considerable controversy, much of it beating about the bush.
There are two possible basic standpoints on this subject. One is that if we believe that we came into existence as a result of an intelligent creator, the division of the human race into two groups of people, male and female, is a perfect division.
It follows logically that homosexuality is unnatural; there is no grey area.
On the other hand, if we accept the scientific version of our genesis, evolution, the division in question cannot be perfect. That would be completely alien to the evolutionary process, which must be defective. It follows logically that homosexuality is natural.
I would be interested in any further hypothesis on this subject but I doubt that there is another credible one.
Yours, etc,
TOM WILLIAMS, Goldenbridge Avenue, Dublin 8.

Well, Tom, as you’ve invited comments, here goes:

I think that both scenarios you describe are flawed and your conclusions are illogical.

In the “Creation” scenario, God gave us “free will”. This free will was first exercised in the Garden of Eden where Eve was unable to follow a simple set of rules. The consequence was that the bloody woman got us all kicked out and we‘ve suffered the consequences ever since.

The bible is full of instances where imperfect human beings commit sins, are tested by the Lord etc.. Why, for example, would a perfect race need the Ten Commandments? Clearly there has never been a pretence that mankind is perfect in any way. Indeed, the chaotic and dysfunctional behaviour displayed by mankind over many millenia is, frankly, incontrovertible proof of an intelligent but illogical, easily bored and sometimes malevolent Creator.

In short, God is probably a woman.

In the “Evolution” scenario, Tom’s hypothesis is even more flawed.

At it’s simplest the problem is this: Surely any species whose natural sexual activity is fundamentally incapable of achieving reproduction would inevitably be doomed to extinction? Sooner rather than later.

Would that be checkmate, Tom?

They'll obviously publish any old guff in the Irish Times these days.